Wit & Wisdom Of Lum & Abner

Lum: "It ain't good fer a feller of my brains to go around lookin' ignorant."

Lum: "Oh, I ain't gonna marry her. She'd beat lumps on my head faster'n I could rub 'em."

Lum: "I coulda spoke fer half a day and not said all I know."

Abner: "Dick Huddleston got in a batch of coconuts 3 or 4 year back. Eli White thought they was mule eggs. Facts is, he still does!"

Cedric: "I wished I loved to smoke. I think I could enjoy smokin' if it didn't make me so sick."

Lum: "My brain ain't tired! I can set here and think of thangs fer you to do all day."

Abner: "Them's the two talkin'est one people... er... I mean, the one talkin'est two people... er... what do I mean?"

Lum: "Yeah, but he was just talkin' to hear his head rattle."

Abner: "Hello!!! Who is it and wha'd'ya want?! Who?! What?! Ain't got it!! Get it down at Dick Huddleston's store!!"

Lum: "All we gotta do is read this book and we'll increase our sales 72% in two days! 'magine... sellin' 72 times as much stuff as we been sellin'!"

Abner: "Doggies! I got more ignorance than you think I have!"

Lum: "Looks like them fellers in the old days had more chances to make heros out of their selfs. They could just go out and fight one of them dragons that had nine or ten heads just any ol' time a notion struck 'em."

Abner: "That was the most uninterestin'est story I ever heared in my life!"

Lum: "Abner, I've told you 650 times... you don't eat atoms!!"

Abner: "I wouldn't know a u-ranium if one walked up in a red and yeller hat and called me by my first name!"

Lum: "Don't throw that nitroglycerin!! You might drop it and break the bottle and have glass all over the floor!!!"

Abner: "The Revolutionary War?! Why, that was back thousands of years ago!"

Lum: (yawn) "Grannies! I could stretch from here to Ol' Piney Mountain if it weren't so fer back..."

Abner: "Little Pearl is studyin' English in school. I ain't never heared her talk none of it, but she's takin' it."

Lum: "With all that money she could fix herself up to where she's bound to look good. Go to a beauty saloon ever' day and get manincures and her hair frizzed. Use a lot of artificial colorin' and flavorin' on herself. She'll be purty! I ain't worried about that."

Lum: "Doggies, Abner, you and Grandpap can talk yourself into more peculiar idees than any one huming I ever knowed."